Once upon a time this blog used to be funny however I've noticed a tendency since the spud has hit toddlerhood, perhaps brought on by stress and lack of sleep, for my posts to become rather long and turgid... please god give me the strength to avoid a poo joke here... errrrgh... hmmmfdh... hrrrgh... FAIL!
Anyway so I'm going to try to make this blog more regular and less effort... a sort of DulcoEase™ blog which will hopefully be, if not, funnier at least shorter and possibly less concerned with poo.
Cue long silence.
The problem is that back when the spud was a sweet ickle baby there tended to be a lot of references to poo in here... then we got blasé about it and it stopped making an appearance. Here, anyway. Now, with potty training, bottom brownies have once again taken the floor and it is therefore going to be difficult to give you a daily digest without any poop in it. Crap, that came out wrong. In fact I seem to be incapable of writing any sentence that doesn't whiff slightly of someone else's colon at the moment; or semi-colon. Boom boom.
Anyway, the spud has long been obsessed with farts as this footage of him at 5 months shows and I have been trying in vain to teach him that farts are not funny and that when he lets one rip he has to say 'excuse me'. The trouble is of course that farts ARE funny and that the sight of a two-year-old cracking up because he's let out a barn owl is even funnier. The upshot is that now when he cracks one out, he freezes, looks at me with his cheeks sucked in and his eyebrows raised until I say 'and WHAT do you say?' at which point he screams 'scuze me FART!' at the top of his lungs, pisses himself laughing (not, thankfully, literally, as yet) and then gets on with trying to crank out another one.
Today he managed four in a row to the vast amusement of us both; unfortunately the fifth had a little tail on it and so my friends I am afraid I must swiftly draw a veil over the rest of the proceedings.