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Today has gone like this.

2:00am - Spud wakes up in hysterics.
2:10am - Spud falls asleep on boob
2:20am - Spud wakes up in hysterics
2:22am - Spud falls asleep on boob (note fast turnaround - Spud is now asleep in parental bed)
2:25am - Spud wakes up in hysterics
2:30am - Spud in hysterics being walked around flat and shhhd to gently
2:35am - Spud in hysterics having his nappy checked
2:40am - Spud in hysterics rejecting boob
2:45am - Spud still in hysterics. Parental units flap hopelessly about while he arches and screams and rejects everything. Between 2:45am and 4:00am Spud rejects the following:
- Calpol
- Bonjela
- Teething powder
- Bottle
- Daddy's shoulder
- Mummy's shoulder
- Lying down
- Sitting up
- Being in the bed
- Being on the floor
- Being held
- Being left alone
4:00am Spud accepts Boowa and Kwala's songs
4:30am Spud starts playing
5:00am Spud accepts sleep
8:00am Spud wakes up
12:00pm we checked in for our flight.
3:00pm we landed in the UK
3:40pm We drove home. Spud had hysterics
5:30pm we got home and unpacked
5:30pm to 6:00pm The Spud rampaged around the house playing with all his toys and breaking wedding presents. Then he had hysterics
Then he ate
Then we went to the shops
Then he had a boob
Then he went to bed

Then I discovered we were out of vodka.

Then I had hysterics.