Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Beach blanket baby babble

Well, so much for blogging every day... it's just that some days between getting up and going to bed it's just all a blur. Today, however, we are on holiday. I know I know, we've been away a lot this year but this time it's just a holiday. No wedding to get dressed up for and keep the baby quiet through, no christening with schedules to juggle and a priest to impress... no deadlines or long drives or engagements, no plans... nothing to do but keep the spud occupied all day. Currently he is occupied by pushing the CAPS LOCK key on my laptop making this twice as difficult as it ought to be. He's most frustrated as the bed here in Biarritz is higher than the one at home and he can't get up on it at will. This means that he stands beside it pulling the covers off and shouting 'Aa! Aa! Aa!' as loud as he can and as close to my ear as he is to able strain his little vocal chords.

It is hot here this time. The last few times we've been here you would be excused for not believing that the place has been an holiday resort for several hundred years as it has been totally miserable however today it perches by the sea oozing heat and style and all sorts of things that me with my spare tyre, bad hair and northern skin are patently unable to keep up with.

At my age, the best blending-in look is to be about 30 pounds lighter and accessorised with a deeply wrinkled brown hide, a tiny bikini, massive sunglasses and an Hermes towel. Being a pale, blubbery wreck in a massive maternity swimsuit accessorised with a drooling baby is, I imagine, the depths of horror for most of these woman and so I try as best as I can to look nonchalant and inconspicuous which is difficult when one is wobbling down the sand after a whirling dervish shouting 'Charlie DON'T EAT THAT' at the top of one's lungs and tripping over multitudinous bikini waxes along the way. I can hear them thinking 'Ah, les Anglaises... zut alors tut tut tut' and wondering if the croissant they ate last week is still showing on their knees. Meanwhile I've caught the spud and return across the sand dripping ice-cream all over them and feeling smug about how much I am enjoying it and how little I care where it appears on my body - I mean, who can tell?

13 comments:

The Good Woman said...

As much as I'm enjoying the frequent posts - I am finding the bar a bit high. Sounds like you enjoyed your day off. It's why i love living abroad - you can get away with so much more...

BOSSY said...

Bossy thinks you should holiday unencumbered with Blogging Responsibilities. After all, the reading audience has Gone Fishing.

Have fun dearie.

jenny said...

Enjoy the holiday!! Take some photos!

Bel said...

I so love your blog! I've read the last three entries just now, and it's wonderful how you describe these every day events. I wish I could see through your eyes sometimes. Have anice holiday!

Elsie Button said...

ha ha. i love the '...and wondering if the croissant they ate last week is still showing on their knees' line. have a great holiday!

Krissie said...

Yeah, what Elsie said. lol And, isn't it great, when you just don't obsess over what unknown people you'll never ever see aging might think about your appearance?

Sparx said...

TGW... Yes I thought the bar was a little high last time I poured myself a martini... let's just get some tall stools, shall we?!

Bossy - I wondered where everyone had gone. Clearly I need to install a stream.

Jenny - will do.

Bel - if you ever tried on my specs you might regret that last statement

Elsie and Krissie - Thanks! Yes, the advantage of having a baby is being able to fool people for at least a year that you're still losing the 'baby weight'. I'm going to start telling people that I put on TWICE as much during pregnancy as I did just to give me some breathing room on the old exercise plan!

PJ Lore said...

I am really enjoying reading about your adventures with the Spud. My daughter's about a few weeks younger than the Spud, so it's nice to read about someone else going through some of the very same things. Thanks for sharing!

PJ Lore

Sue said...

I'm thinking a holiday means as much ice cream as you want. Not wondering where that croissant has slipped to.

So, I'm thinking that those people aren't on holiday. They are probably paid part-time actors who are filling up as extras on the beach. Now we all know that actors are a different species and cannot possibly look like the rest of us.

So I'm thinking you should just flash your ice cream and walk past them thinking, "I know what you're really doing here."

Sparx said...

PJ - thanks for dropping in!

Sue - aha, that explains a lot. I wondered how it was possible for all those beautiful and slim women to be in one place at the same time. Why they allow me onto these beaches is a mystery to me!

DJ Kirkby said...

You crack me up! I bet you look just as you should... like a happy mommy!Instead of a miserable shriveled up prune.

Sparx said...

DJ - Well, I'm happy and I'm a mommy so hopefully that's what I look like... the thing is though that if the spud isn't there, I just look like a fat white thing! Ah well, never mind.

kathryn said...

I bet there were chicks all over that beach envious of how you looked. That's what I tell myself every time I'm brave enough to unleash my bikini. "Somewhere on this stretch of sand someone will see and think 'I wished I looked as good as her'"...Don't let the spud leave your side.... Enjoy your hols!