Thursday, April 16, 2009

Water water everywhere...

The spud is discovering the joys of being a bloke in training, by which I mean the ability to whip down one's trews and wee on whatever is handy. Often when faced with an ordinary loo, even while bouncing up and down and clutching his nether regions, he will deny until the point of tears and shouting and falling down struggling that a wee is nigh, however offer him the chance to piss up against a tree and he cannot get his trousers down fast enough.

The other day we went to the playground here at Grandparent central and I could see him walking along the top of the climbing frame doing his wee wee dance. The frog and I took turns cajoling him into coming down and having a wee against a tree but this time he wasn't the slightest bit interested. He ran from one end of the frame to the other shouting 'no wee wee tree, no wee wee, wee wee gone don't want it' until the Frog with a determined set to his jaw climbed the frame to get him down, at which point he declared 'no wee wee tree, wee wee slide!', marched to the top of the slide and started to take down his pants with the express intent of weeing down it.

I blame the meeja myself, this morning he watched Dora the Explorer going on and on about a 'water spout' which was a tap running water down a slide' and one of the endlessy repeated episodes of the awful 'Third and Bird' has the birds building a slide and then pouring water down it to make it faster.

Thank the gods we were alone in the playground so nobody was there to see him being carried off the frame by his father, pants around his ankles and then made to pee forcefully up against the nearest pine. The fact that we are out in the wilderness here and the playground is ringed with brush and full of deer poo hopefully mitigates this unsociable behaviour somewhat; god knows what we're going to do once we're back in the relatively cultured wilds of Brixton.

10 comments:

The Dotterel said...

Not the done thing I'm Brixton, eh?

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

Thanks for making me laugh this morning. I really needed it.

Also, glad to know it is not just me battling with boys who don't like the potty but would much prefer expose that little white bottom to the world and demonstrate how far their pee can go.

Still at least mine now understand that Mummy isn't going to do the same thing. However much they ask!

Sue said...

Tagged, Sparx: http://sunayanaroy.blogspot.com/2009/04/around-world-in-80-clicks.html

Lemme know when you do it, I'm waiting to read yours. :)

Mary T said...

I think that males are born with a gene that makes them want to wee in experimental ways. It will only get worse as he gets older.

Jonny's Mommy said...

Where is a camera when you need one? Whoo-hoo!

I have much to look forward to, don't I?

Maternal Tales said...

Hey at least you've got a boy and he CAN wee up against a tree. I have a girl and she wants to wee anywhere but on the potty...she'd think she was in heaven if I let her do it up against the tree. Sadly, I won't allow it!!

darth sardonic said...

hahaha little boys are funny. the spud is "all boy" as they have said about my own hellions.

Sparx said...

Dotterel - probably is but not in front of a crowd (!)

Brit in Bosnia - seriously, did they ask you to demonstrate? Man oh man...

Sue - thanks for the tag, will try to get one done once I'm back from hols.

Mary T - sadly your comment is bourne out by previous experience with grown men... sigh...

Jonny's Mommy - oh yes, it's you next...

Maternal Tales - perhaps you should let her try and see where it gets her!

Darth - he certainly is!

Sparx said...

Dotterel - probably is but not in front of a crowd (!)

Brit in Bosnia - seriously, did they ask you to demonstrate? Man oh man...

Sue - thanks for the tag, will try to get one done once I'm back from hols.

Mary T - sadly your comment is bourne out by previous experience with grown men... sigh...

Jonny's Mommy - oh yes, it's you next...

Maternal Tales - perhaps you should let her try and see where it gets her!

Darth - he certainly is!

Michelle said...

Another Laughing Out Loud Post, Sparx!!! Boys will be boys!