The search for impossible

I have lost my oyster card. For those not in the know, this is a little credit-card sized, er, credit card thingy that one waves in front of machinery on buses and tubes to get one on to the things. It's connected to my bank account so that I never have to put money on it and it pays my way around London just fine thank you.

This is not the first thing I have lost in the last few month, oh no. In fact, I have lost a wide range of items ranging from flash drives to teddymouse to keys, lipsticks and pens, DVD discs, my sanity, endless pairs of the spud's underpants and enough toy cars to fill a garage the size of the teletubbies.

There is a theme to all this lostness in that all items, including my sanity, are Very Small. Madly, it took me a while to notice this - until yesterday in fact, when the loss of my Oyster card started a flat-wide hunt which turned to light absolutely every last little thing which has gone missing in the last few months.

They turned up in the bottom of un-used cupboards. They turned up 'posted' through the cellar steps, the back of the sofa, underneath drawers, behind furniture, between books and under carpets. It doesn't take much by way of grey matter to realise that we have a single culprit here and wily though our ancient rescue cat may be, I highly doubt he's capable of manipulating a flash drive between two jammed cupboard doors.

I don't know why I hadn't suspected my son prior to this point, I think it's because in general he isn't the sort of little boy to post remote controls into the bin on a regular basis. Not to say that it hasn't happened, just not for a long time.

Perhaps this is what he has been trying to tell me all week with his inscrutable sentences such as 'tuppy GONE!' and 'Rebus GONE'! I've looked high and low for Tuppy and Rebus and it turns out that Rebus was 'real bus', as in his toy double-decker which looks like a bus one might find on the street. Perhaps 'tuppy' is my oyster card, who knows?

Either way I will resume my search very shortly, in hopes of being able to get to a meeting I am expected at in London tomorrow morning. Perhaps I will also find my sanity.

Here's hoping...