Tuesday, October 28, 2008

twist and shout

Ah me. We’ve had some visitors here at camp spud in the last few days and that means that we’ve had to turf the spud out of his room and into ours. Oh yes, the slippery slope of sleeping in the big bed has been slid right to the very bottom. 5 days of sleeping with his parents, 5 days of waking up with direct access to the power of pester and 5 days, crucially, of not having to sleep in his own bed, his prison cot out of which he cannot climb.

Interestingly, he has not attempted to climb out of the big bed at all. In fact, he has gone to sleep like a blissful little cherub with nary a chirrup of complaint, no demands for milk and no crying of poo wolf ('Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Poo Mummy, Poo!! Poo!!' ... 'Have you done a poo, Spud?' 'Yeth!' 'Have you really?' 'Yeth, Poo!!'. No poo. 'Do you need to poo in the potty?' 'Yeth' Twenty minutes of pottering about the bathroom ignoring the potty later and it's back to bed. No poo the next time either. Or the next. Sometimes, five calls later, poo happens, but by that point we are so fed up of jumping up and down that we've closed all the adjoining doors and are eating our freezing cold dinner with our feet in a mustard bath.

This new easy bedtime is possibly only when he's put to sleep in our bed, so, now that our guests have gone, we hit upon the wizard wheeze of putting him down in our bed and then moving his sweet little sleeping self into his own bed. Which works for about two hours which is when someone from upstairs comes home and slams the door, or a car honks out in the street, or a helicopter flies over or a siren goes off. You know. And he wakes up. And realises he's been tricked. And will he go back to sleep? Will he hell. Not, you understand, in anything other than our comfy bed. Between his parents. And not under the duvet either. No no, that's just too hot.

Instead, he kicks and complains in his sleep until the duvet is crumpled up below foot level, ie, around our waists somewhere. He then stretches his little fists and once he's thumped both of us a good one he frog-legs up to the headboard where he bangs his noggin and wakes, briefly, to whinge a little. He then rolls over, trapping one arm briefly underneath him and struggling energetically to free it, ending up with his pajama-clad bottom in the air and one or both of his parents teetering on the edge of the mattress, leaving no room for an elderly and very disgusted cat.

So, yes. We are currently being beaten by the proverbial rod we have created for, you know, our own backs. And stuff. There are benefits however. To all this bed sharing and twisted musculature. Namely, once he's contorted himself into position, that's it. Lights out. No waking. No, in otherwords, getting up in the middle of the night to give him a cuddle. I'm not sure I can remember the last time I had a week of uninterrupted nights.

Perhaps we should just buy a bigger bed.

13 comments:

Mom de Plume said...

Heh heh. I know just how you feel!!! I read somewhere that letting a child fall asleep in one place and then moving them to another is similar to you going to sleep on your favourite pillow and waking up and it's gone. You would also wake up and look for it! :) At the moment young Jordan goes to bed in his bed, sleeps for a couple of hours and then comes to our bed. He has the final say on that or it is no sleep for anyone. Back Rod completed no more making involved. At least we have a spare room which is where my hubby usually ends up!

Michelle said...

If you're getting a full night's sleep, I'd say go for the bigger bed!

cactus petunia said...

We had an unspoken agreement early on not to have anyone but us in the bed: kids, cats, or dogs...Sometimes it worked, sometimes not. Our daughter liked to sleep sideways with her feet in her dad's back and her head in mine...and the cat liked to sleep in her crib. So after awhile, she and the cat came to an unspoken agreement of their own. She'd sleep in her own bed just fine, as long as the cat was in there to keep her company.

DJ Kirkby said...

N3S slept in my bed until he was 2 years old. It was the only way I could stop him waking 10+ times a night. By the time he was 18 months I was begining to wonder if he would be in my bed till he left home and if I should call social services to report myself as a bad mother but at 2 years he took himself off to his own bed and has slept there ever since.

Mud in the City said...

Phew. Maybe being single isn't so bad afterall!

Jonny's Mommy said...

Let me tell you about this bruise on my rib. That's from my child's head. My child's head after my child stretched his entire body across the bed and pushed me with his head and his daddy with his feet and left us hanging on the edge of the bed while he claimed the entire Queen-sized bed for himself last night. A King is looking very good right now. Or a child who will sleep in his own bed. One of the other.

lady macleod said...

I'm still smiling from reading this! I love it. A bigger bed my love, for sure. I know what the "experts" say but my baby stayed in the big bed and when she was ready - she left, no fuss, easy peasy. Meanwhile I will enjoy your exploits from afar!

Sparx said...

Mom de P - lucky you, a spare room! Glad we're not the only ones!!!

Michelle - yes, however that means a bigger flat... so for now I guess we're stuck!

Cactus - I love that. I think our cat would run a mile at the prospect however!

DJ - wow, that's great... hopefully we'll get the same result... who knows.

Mud in the City... Oh, I don't know about that - but sometimes... sometimes...

Jonny's Mommy - aha, you're right here with us I see!

Lady M! Was thinking of you the other day, has been a while - thanks for that, sounds like he may make up his own mind when he's ready. Lovely to see you!

Helen said...

See, I must just be an evil mommy. I put my kids in the crib and walk away. They can scream if they like, but doing that will get them a closed bedroom door. And I can sleep with that. I **cannot** sleep with a tot thrashing about between me and my husband.

Yep, I must be evil. But not too badly sleep-deprived ;)

Good luck with bedtime tonight. I know it's hard.

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

We made the mistake of letting not one, but both children call our bed theirs . . . hubby is currently lobbying for a 2nd queen sized bed - he wants to push the two together.

Truthfully though, as much as I miss the solid sleep, there is something so sweet about having them both so close to me at night (at least I say that today - tonight could be a whole other story!)

lulu said...

I NEVER let my kids sleep in my bed. I RARELY go to them at night unless they're on the brink of death, or completely hysterical. Little squeeks and whinges I IGNORE. My children sleep through the night, in their own beds, quietly, without argument and they don't get out. Sound STRANGE? They're super happy productive little rugrats - and I get sleep. DId I mention they sleep for 12 hours? YAY!

Bringer of Peace said...

It has been a long time - our son is thinking of getting married - but I don't really think either we or him were damaged permanently by him sleeping with us. Our original reason was that our house got quite chilly (wood heated) and our bed was warm. At first I had him in a small baby bed next to us but he felt so cold I gave in and brought him in with us. Thanks for giving me some good laughs and a walk down memory lane.

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