Sunday, October 19, 2008

Twinkle twinkle little... wha?

We have singing! Proper singing with almost words and everything! I know, I know, sign us up for X Factor already, my son's the next Frank Sinatra. Or something.

Forgive me for over-reacting a little here, it's just that we've recently had our parent meeting at the nursery and it seems our little bear is lagging in concentration skills. The fact that his motor and spatial awareness skills are advanced doesn't appear to be wiping the earnest look of concern off the face of his nursery worker however. She kept uttering phrases like 'it's nothing to be worried about' and 'we've had much, much worse' but I could barely hear her as the spectre of ADHD rose up in front of me and went 'BLEBEDDYBLEBEDDYBLEH!' until I realised that he is, after all, only two and has clearly demonstrated his ability to concentrate on the things that really matter. Like, for example, how to get Mummy to give him an ice-cream AFTER she's said no. Several times.

I submit the following. Today, after attempting to win me over with his new hysterics, he decided that he would forgo his spaghetti and have ice cream instead. The flaw in this plan is that in order to get said ice-cream, someone else has to get the stuff out of the freezer which means firstly, the same person has to agree that having no spaghetti is a good idea and secondly, has be asked nicely. Simply pointing at the freezer and shrieking 'In there! In THERE!' then bursting into hysterics is, frankly, not the way to win this one.

So, my little bundle of so-called attention deficit decided he would trick his mother out of an ice cream. Firstly, he calmed down and asked nicely for some water, asked for a straw, drank it through the straw, put the cup on the counter. Diversionary tactics, you see. Then, he toddled gaily over to the tupperware cupboard. Now, what does one find in there? Tupperware? Yes! But... but... what is this? What? Is it... an ice cube tray?

Yes folks, you got it. He had an actual plan in mind. He held it up and said 'Water? Water Mummy! Water!'. I tried putting it back in the cupboard (hysterics), I tried putting it in the sink (hysterics), so, I filled it with water. Once full, he pointed to the freezer 'In there! In there!' and so I had to put the ice-cube tray into the freezer. This, as you have no doubt intuited, involves the opening of the freezer door and suddenly he was using his cute little squeaky surprised voice. 'Oh! Oh!! Mummy!' he said, as if to say 'Wow, did you see that?' Who'd have thought? Ice-cream! Do you think... maybe... that? That there? In there? That? There? No? Mummy? Ice cream? Ice...?

I closed the freezer. He went back to the cupboard and pulled out... the popsicle mould! 'Juice Mummy, Juice! In there!' So, we made popsicles. And put them in the freezer.

He still didn't get an ice cream, but he tried REALLY hard.

Bedtime is also succumbing to his new hysterics and he can concentrate for up to two hours on not going to sleep. Last night I tried to sing him to bed - quite an act given that normally my singing is met with 'NO Mummy, NO!' I did, however, hit upon Twinkle Twinkle and lo and behold, there he was, singing along. 'Tee to tee to taaaaaahhhh' OK so it didn't quite scan but there it was: 'Tee to tee to taaaaaahhhh... tee do tee do di do diiiiiiiii... tee do tee do di do diiiiiiiii.... tee to tee to taaaaaaahhhh....'

Lacking in concentration indeed. Today 'Twinkle Twinkle', tomorrow... well, ice cream, I suspect.


Michelle said...

We all know that Spud is JUST FINE, thank you very much! It's much more likely that he's too smart for his own good, as you have so beautifully illustrated.
And hearing your child sing, now that is just melt your heart sweet.

Jen said...

That's ridiculous! (says one mom of an active toddler boy to another) Does this fool have children? More importantly, does she have BOYS? Yep, they are smarter than we give them credit for. And, cunning. Very cunning.

Anonymous said...

Wow that is one smart kid you have!!

Jonny's Mommy said...

Mummy always knows better what is really going on with their child.

The other day I thought my child couldn't speak much. Then he said "doctor," and "side" (slide) so there, worrying mother! he does speak.

Now if he would only say "Yes, mother. I understand. I will no longer sit on the puppy."

Anonymous said...

The little ones are often smarter than we give them credit for, indeed. Very ingenious of the little potato, I must say!

The Good Woman said...

Boy genius! Doesn't sound like you've got much to worry about. Actually, scratch that, it sounds like you've got tons to worry about ... but not ADHD.

Anonymous said...

Forgot to add, concentration-schmoncentration! Honestly. People have been using terms like that lately, like some people use toilet paper, and it's starting to piss me off. The boy is two! Who the hell could concentrate on anything at that age anyway?

I had always had bad marks on concentration skills at school as a child, and I'm fucking brilliant now, I tell you.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Momma . . . you are in trouble! And I only say that because it takes one to know one. Your little Spud sounds a whole lot like Cooper, who, conincidently, is having the very same issues at preschool! After a conference and a lengthy packet of paperwork to fill out, I am awaiting a call from the special education teacher to discuss some tactics that will help him get the most out of his preschool experience. I am really torn because I do know that he has issues concentrating and attending to the tasks that are given to him, but on the flip side? HE'S 3! Boys will be boys I suppose!

DJ Kirkby said...

Listen. The child is a genius! He appears slightly distracted because his mind is processing about 6 million, billion and 10 good ideas at once, tell them to try that and act focussed! A Montessori school indeed...what and they can't even recognise a genius when they see one? Humpf...

darth sardonic said...

lol kids are amazing, and like saving the really clever shit until you are not even close to ready for it then pow! look how goddamn cute i am! (and i am pretty sure that is EXACTLY how they say it in their head, too)

Tara said...

Sounds like a smart lad to me. And who is he learning these devious tactics from? Hmmm, is someone else in the house a bit of a treat junkie!

Sparx said...

Michelle - yes, it is really so very sweet...

Jen - they really are... SO cunning!

Trooper - aw, thanks hon.

Jonny's Mommy - hahaha! Sit on the puppy!

Jennie - I know, must never underestimate them!

Fishsticks - oh poor you! I'm sure he'll be fine, I hope it's nothing.

DJ - bless you!

Darth - I know you're right - and have read some of your posts on the topic too!

Tara - who? I don't know WHAT you're talking about!!