Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Rogue Trader

In the land of the very small, possession is not nine tenths of the law, it is, in fact, the whole of the law. This law, the law of childhood possession, is normally referred to simply by it's common name 'Mine!' and its finer points are often argued in open court. One only has to spend a few moments in a crowded playground to hear multiple small constables patrolling around sternly enforcing this edict while parental mediators cite the popular 'sharing' clause and the less popular 'it's not your turn' sub-clause.

The 'mine' law appears hard-wired into the human psyche and while one doesn't necessarily hear the word bandied about in polite society, one only has to watch grown adults circle warily around a newspaper on the tube to understand that there, amidst the suits and briefcases, stand the ghosts of their mothers admonishing 'she was there first, let her read it. You take you turn later. Yes? Later. Not now, later. Later I said. Oh for crying out loud - look, juice, would you like some juice? Shall we go home now? Is that what you want?'

Anyway, the spud amazed me this week by willingly offering up his toys to the youngest son of a good friend. I was sitting beaming in my chair, pride stashed relatively unsuccessfully under my motherly bottom while he presented the boy with a succession of toys when I realised that, rather than any advancement in his human nature, true to form he had a hidden agenda.

Once the smaller child was safely playing with something about which, frankly, the spud doesn't care, he turned on his heel and ran as fast as his piggies could take him into his bedroom and onto his ride-on Thomas (£3 at the local charity shop - mine!) and proceeded to parade around in a particularly satisfied manner, stopping only when my friend's oldest got onto his trike and used the pedals, at which point, inevitably, everything was 'Mine' again.

It's not all legal beagles around here though. The other day he shocked us by doing his very first swapsie with his mate Jake - and no ordinary swapsie either, they traded their very favourite 'Don't Touch It, It's Mine' cars. I thought I had dreamed it but then a few days later he did it again with a different friend and different toys and... well it was all roses for a couple of days until they turned to... er, to worms.

Pinworms, in fact.

Two days later he came home from his minder with a note saying that he had recently traded something rather less savoury with someone and could we take him to the doctor?

Rather embarrassingly we've had to confess all to our swapsie friends and I rather suspect that this is one trade they wish the spud had kept to himself.

.

15 comments:

Unknown said...

Oh yes I too am very familiar with the word 'mine'. My two children also say it with a little whine and bags of attitude which they have copied off Stingy from their very favourite TV show Lazytown.

Sparx said...

Oh we love Lazytown too! Luckily Spud can't talk yet but that does sound very funny! Will do the memen in a few days and take some time to write it up!

~ej said...

mine is such a wonderful toddler word...:)

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

You watch Lazytown over there? Sportacus...ooohhh. Kinda hawt.

Anyhooooo.....my toddler isn't yet saying "mine"...oh I am so not looking forward to it.

Michelle said...

It's amazing how even though they can't talk, toddlers are perfectly capable of communicating "mine".

Sparx said...

Elena - I know, even if they're only thinking it!

Jonny's Mommy - Oh yes. Watching Sportacus muscle his way around the screen is kinda a guilty pleasure round my way - did you know he writes and directs the lot? I have to say however that more recently I'm warming to Robbie Rotten... (snicker)

Michelle - AND the rest! Today we had a lot of communicating and I can tell you, I understood the lot...

Anonymous said...

Yuckity yuck, worms!!! We've been spared so far, but am always on the lookout. Very curious, can one actually see the creatures, or does one just look for signs of an itch where the sun don't shine?

Jen said...

Pinworms?! I have worked with kids a loonngg time, and that is one I don't know. You know what, don't tell me, it's probably better this way. I took Dylan to the store a few days ago, and when I looked at him, his mouth was on the shopping cart handle. I knew what I was in for. Now he has tonsillitis. Groan. Why did he have to inherit MY immune system? My husband never gets sick.

Sparx said...

Jen - they're also called threadworms... they're apparently the most common, maybe you have a different name! Yes, we get the 'eating the shopping cart handle' too, now I take a load of toys and snacks to fend off the inevitable. And sterile wipes!

DJ Kirkby said...

Oooh well done Spud! Well on the sharing bit anyways, the swapsies needs some work by the sound sof it. Urk, pinworms...yech...

Sparx said...

DJ... urk indeed... although frankly I didn't see any 'signs' and it may be 'Childminder Hysteria', that well-known illness...

Frog in the Field said...

Maybe he'll bring home some lovely headlice in return....

Helen said...

Ah, the joys of sharing. Someone shared head lice with my oldest around Christmas time. The experience of that gift will be one I'll remember for a very, very long time.

We went to the bookstore today and found a Shrek book with a little viewfinder toy attached. Both my girls love Shrek and both wanted the book, but they each wanted their own separate copy. Even at the discount price of four dollars, there was no way we were buying two books, so my husband decided to get just one even though I told him getting any would be a mistake and now we're all paying for that.

Rob Clack said...

I heard that a few worms are actually rather good for your immune system. Research Nottingham University, UK (early days yet, sadly) suggests that a low-density infestation of hookworms might distract the immune system sufficiently so it doesn't give you asthma. Low density means 12-15 actual worms, which is not enough to give you any symptoms, but is enough to attract the attention of the immune system.

The story seems to be that the immune system has so little to do these days, it gets bored and looks around for some trouble to make. Or something like that.

Believe me, I'm not making this up!

Sparx said...

All - for some reason my laptop repeated a comment and I lost all my comments to you last few... sorry about that!!

Frog - all that to look forward to as well? Hold me back!

Helen - oh lord, not you too! Re the books, I suppose that's one of the few benefits of only having one child...?

Rob - I've just read something similar as well, it's hookworms though but it's very cool.