Sunday, June 29, 2008

wiped out

I have been writing something for the last week to go here however due to the fact that I have been working days and nights on a project at the moment, every time I look at what I started my mind turns into puppy food.

So, everyone is, for a day or two, spared the brilliance of my son, Oh He Whose Nappies Shield The Light Of The World.

You can tell I'm not thinking straight.

We are trying to ditch those nappies, by the way. It's going GREAT guns I tell you. The other day, he actually managed to sit on the potty and emit a little posterior squeak after much effort. I think it was only for show however as moments later he created his own personal Lake Victoria about two feet away and stood there saying 'Uh Oh!' very smugly. When I pointed out the obvious, he squealed and ran laughing into the bedroom where he climbed under our duvet and posed coyly while I willfully ignored the trail of damp footprints he left behind him. Well, he was on the Frog's side anyway.

After wiping it all up while he helped by spreading it around with a set of meeting notes I had improvidently left in a binder on a shelf in another room, I practically threw him into the bath - however about five minutes later he was throwing the bath back at me and I was back to wiping up.

I seem to spend a lot of my time at the moment wiping. I never knew that wiping could take so much effort and all of a sudden I am becoming the sort of woman who might appear on a television commercial rabbiting on about a sponge. I have pretty much settled on those big flat thin sponges as they seem fairly absorbent and have the added benefit of not hoarding cat hair that they can shed later when one is wiping somewhere else. There, you see? I have reported on sponges. It's just that my son has reached a stage in his life where he seems to attract and eject an enormous amount of fluids. There is cereal milk, juice, more milk, water from the cat bowl, drool, water from the hose, water from the watering can, stuff that comes in on the soles of his feet from the garden, raisins, bits on the floor where he's been experimenting with blackboard chalk, is that a half-eaten bee?, cat sick, breakfast, lunch, dinner, yoghurt, bread crumbs, cheese, fingerprints on mirrors, fingerprints on walls, fingerprints on windows and tell me just how did he get his fingers there??? I'm sparing you the obvious wiping up of the spud's face and other regions to clean up Things That Come From Within. No wonder that half the chemist these days seems to be shelves of wipes.

Anyway, back to the project. Even the cat is snoring right now, at least nobody is going to need me to wipe anything up in the next few hours.


Anonymous said...

Ah yes, I remember it well....
But in the end it works, and he really has your number, doesn't he?

elena jane said...

yes, lots of wipes and sponges and towels and washing. it all comes together in the end...and it's all joyful :)

Michelle said...

You would do a lovely commercial for sponges, Sparx! Thanks for a great laugh :)
So funny that being on the US West Coast I can post this comment on Saturday night at 9:45 PM, technically the day before your Sunday morning midnight post.

Jen said...

Yep, I do my fair share of wiping also, but I have to admit, probably 50% of the wiping is probably from my own messes. (I'm a klutz) All I can say is, thank goodness when we were in the market for a couch all those years ago, we bought one with a removable/washable cover! Best purchase ever made!

Helen said...

I'm right there with you these days. My youngest will sit on the potty, but not necessarily use it. In fact, when we're out, she'll scream that she has to go and then refuse to do anything when I put her on the toilet. But five minutes later? She'll blow out her diaper with an enormous load of... You know.

This is my second go-around with this, so I know she will grow out of it, but it will be a while. Meantime, I have discovered that if you are hawking sponges, it's because you're brain has become one, so feel free to pick a good sponge. The better the sponge, the better your ability to absorb all these 'precious' memories of toddlerhood ;) Although you probably won't be able to retain anything else.

jenny said...

Oh yes, the wiping, wiping, wiping!! And to think I am adding another one to the family!! I must admit, I have days where I dream of a clean house that actually stays clean for longer than 5 minutes. I've found that cheap white vinegar and water is the best cleaning agent and it's CHEAP and saves me loads of money buying those wipes and paper towels.

Good luck on the potty training, I'm doing it with youngest now!

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

We have just come out of the other side of potty training.
Sometimes I swear my daughter had an 'accident' on purpose because she would gives this cocky little laugh with a twinkle in her eye thaat meant 'look at how I can get mummy to run around after me in a panic'!

Jonny's Mommy said...

This morning I wiped up cat puke and dog crap and I'm pretty sure that this afternoon I will wipe a baby's rear and another cat puke mess.

Yeah...that's why we got the big container of wipes last week.

And isn't it great how they say "uh-oh" even when things are done on purpose? Jonathan throws something on the floor looks up and says "uh-oh" I keep informing him it's not an "uh-oh" when you do it on purpose.

Elsie Button said...

arr the whole wiping thing. i know it! those wipes people must be raking it in! (altho i do seem to remember being AMAZED that you recycle your wipes - i often think of that (as i fling them into the bin) - bloody impressive!)

Sparx said...

anonymous - what works? wiping up? I'm assuming you're one of my parental units being all smug about how you managed to potty train Hoto and I when we were half the spud's age... sigh... let's hope it works soon!

Elena Jane - O I do hope so! Thanks for being so positive!

Michelle - you're time travelling. I can tell. Can you take my skin back 20 years please?

Jen - for the same reason we bought leather! I'm a klutz too. I just blame the spud for everything.

Helen - oh lord, all this to come... Your daughter sounds like a character!

Jenny - will check in to see how it's going - how did you get her started?

Tara - yes, I've heard that this is possible - an accident on purpose to get attention... big sigh...

Jonny's Mommy - I'm stuck on 'cat puke'... do all cats puke a lot? Ours does once or twice a month... what's that about?

Elsie - Still do recycle them - next time throw some in the washing machine! You should get two or three washes out of them. Go on!

Ivanna said...

sorry, but I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... or something like that :) :) Remember my comment about the plastic portable potty that I worshipped a half year back?? I have a feeling you will be reporting on those soon. :) And the only thing I have learned from potty training? I am not in control. Wipe. Repeat. :)

The Dotterel said...

Although he can only just sit up, Charlie signals his intention of nappy-filling so obviously, that we've thought of sitting him on a potty already (just so he gets used to it). Incidentally, his favourite trick is to turn the fire-hose on just as I remove his nappy and lift him into his (baby) bath. The timing's perfect!

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

Hi there. Hope you don't mind, but have tagged you for a Top 5 blogs of the Month game.
You just need to name 5 posts you've enjoyed with a link to them, then tag 5 more people to do the same.
If you could give me some linky love too, and then let the 5 people you've tagged know that they are 'it' and also to link back to you.