I have been writing something for the last week to go here however due to the fact that I have been working days and nights on a project at the moment, every time I look at what I started my mind turns into puppy food.
So, everyone is, for a day or two, spared the brilliance of my son, Oh He Whose Nappies Shield The Light Of The World.
You can tell I'm not thinking straight.
We are trying to ditch those nappies, by the way. It's going GREAT guns I tell you. The other day, he actually managed to sit on the potty and emit a little posterior squeak after much effort. I think it was only for show however as moments later he created his own personal Lake Victoria about two feet away and stood there saying 'Uh Oh!' very smugly. When I pointed out the obvious, he squealed and ran laughing into the bedroom where he climbed under our duvet and posed coyly while I willfully ignored the trail of damp footprints he left behind him. Well, he was on the Frog's side anyway.
After wiping it all up while he helped by spreading it around with a set of meeting notes I had improvidently left in a binder on a shelf in another room, I practically threw him into the bath - however about five minutes later he was throwing the bath back at me and I was back to wiping up.
I seem to spend a lot of my time at the moment wiping. I never knew that wiping could take so much effort and all of a sudden I am becoming the sort of woman who might appear on a television commercial rabbiting on about a sponge. I have pretty much settled on those big flat thin sponges as they seem fairly absorbent and have the added benefit of not hoarding cat hair that they can shed later when one is wiping somewhere else. There, you see? I have reported on sponges. It's just that my son has reached a stage in his life where he seems to attract and eject an enormous amount of fluids. There is cereal milk, juice, more milk, water from the cat bowl, drool, water from the hose, water from the watering can, stuff that comes in on the soles of his feet from the garden, raisins, bits on the floor where he's been experimenting with blackboard chalk, is that a half-eaten bee?, cat sick, breakfast, lunch, dinner, yoghurt, bread crumbs, cheese, fingerprints on mirrors, fingerprints on walls, fingerprints on windows and tell me just how did he get his fingers there??? I'm sparing you the obvious wiping up of the spud's face and other regions to clean up Things That Come From Within. No wonder that half the chemist these days seems to be shelves of wipes.
Anyway, back to the project. Even the cat is snoring right now, at least nobody is going to need me to wipe anything up in the next few hours.