Saturday, November 10, 2007

Two steps forward, one step back...

The spud is getting more and more sure of himself and this walking business. He has worked out that if he walks around with this chest thrust fully out and his arms akimbo like something out of a zombie movie, he is less likely to fall forward. This however means that sometimes he topples back very slowly and stiffly like a statue and doesn't bend at the waist until the last minute, meaning that nappy hits carpet at some velocity. This is fine until just before bath time when I strip him off and let him pee on the carpets wander around the house naked while his bath runs. At this point his strategy doesn't work so well and the shock on his face as his unpadded little bum hits the floor is either comical, if he doesn't cry, or very sad if he does.

Choosing when to laugh at one's offspring is a risky game. Sometimes when my little potato has had a particularly comical roll off his bean-bag and ended up face down on the cat he gets up beaming as though he's just crossed the Zambesi under his own steam and then laughing at him is wholly permissable. Other times he can sit down softly yet suddenly while emitting a loud fart and yet be inconsolable with self-disgust at having lost his balance in so unmanly a fashion. Laughing at him at that point would be clearly Beyond The Pale and so I have to stifle myself and pick him up for a Mummy cuddle.

He has also developed a sense of humour and has discovered he can use this against us. This is not to say that he hasn't found things funny in the past, but rather that he has now worked out what it is that we adults find funny and then will repeat these things until, frankly, they're a little tedious. Take splashing in the bath, for instance. A few months ago he started splashing me from the confines of the tub. I made the big 'no' face and the sign but he kept it up. Two more 'no' signs later and he flapped his hands down to the water... and stopped, hands just touching the surface as I said 'no' again. And he laughed at me. AT me. And he had a cute little 'I Am Playing A Trick On You' face. And yeay, it was funny. At least for the first ten times. After that I pulled the plug, because secretly I am the grinch.

He did this for a few weeks but showed no signs of expanding his repertoire until we were in Vancouver and Auntie Shelley was trying to stop him playing with Uncle Hoto's stereo. He then spent most of the time we were there camped out in front of it waving his hands in it's general direction hoping to catch us out while secretly pushing the limits until his hands were all over the thing and we'd stopped noticing. And that, folks, is his hidden agenda - make us laugh until we're bored and then just carry on. He did it again in the restaurant where he walked, pretending to eat a crayon to much hilarity until we were past caring. Come to think of it, I don't remember seeing that crayon once lunch was over.

The trouble is that now he knows how to play us, he just puts on his 'Trick' face and it's SO hard to not to laugh. I have lost coffee out of my nose, which, apparently, is Great Fun. I tell you, I am chewing the skin off the inside of my cheeks these days trying simultaneously to keep a straight face while teaching 'No', 'Bad' and 'Stop' to a very small giggling thing.

Anyway, so here he was today, doing his March of the Zombies walk into the kitchen while I was making his dinner. He tottered in, opened the top drawer, pulled out the tea-strainer, wobbled to the bin, opened the bin and dropped in the strainer. It was so choreographed, I thought as I put on my big 'No' face, that he must have planned it. As I pulled the tea-strainer out of the bin, slammed the lid shut and started my routine, he put on his 'I Am Playing A Trick' face, wove back to the drawer, opened it up and took out a teaspoon. As I marched purposefully over to remove it from his fingers, he looked up, cocked his head to one side and smirked at me... and the insides of my cheek started to bleed.

22 comments:

Jen said...

Yep, I am going through this myself. When funny crosses the line into cruel is a very thin line! Check out my post Don't You Hate It When to see the perfect example - my kid stuck under a stool that he himself climbed into! Funny? Yes! Mean to keep filming? Nah.

Jennie said...

Ahhh, glad you're back.

We did the same thing with Dante as a nighttime ritual. We called it "det n√łgne kvarter", or, the naked 15 minutes. It invariably turned into the 15 minutes spent every night cleaning up pee/poo.

But after a long day, seeing that baby bum run around made me fall in love with him all over again.

lady macleod said...

The humor game is tricky indeed. I still remember Q saying, with the potatoes painted across her face by her own sweet hand, "If it's not funny mum, why are you laughing?"

The HOR blogger said...

OH Sparx he's playing DIRTY!
EEEEE!! How cute! Aw man how cool is that to watch your baby develop right before your eyes and to be THE ONE (ones) to see him develop into a regular little person??!! I'm sorry but that's just got to be amazing.

(okay! somebody must have had a bit of over-estorogened-milk with her cereal this morning, crap. *pinching ovaries*)

Frog in the Field said...

It's great though isn't it?
I look at mine fast asleep and forgive them everything until the morning when they start again!

Elsie Button said...

they are (hilarious) little devils aren't they. god they are clever little things too. quite unbelieveable how quickly they learn. i was laughing all the way through this - what a star he is!

Sparx said...

Jen, that's a really funny video, reminded me just of the spud as well, he's done the same sort of thing! Good to see you

Sparx said...

Jennie - the naked 15 minutes! I love it. It's more like the naked half hour in our house, or the naked moment, depending on the day! No poo so far but almost always a pee... good to see you!

Sparx said...

Lady Macleod! 'If it's so funny Mum, why are you laughing' !!! I laughed a lot at this - I gather it only gets more difficult. Very funny - and good to see you! Did you see there's a little something for you in my last post?

Sparx said...

Hey Hor! Are you sure you're not knocked up? You sure sound hormonal! Ys, it is amazing, it really really is, and this from a very jaded, care-worn hulk of a woman who is way past her sell-by date. Go on, you know you want to! Good to see you!

Sparx said...

Frog - ah yes... the minute he falls asleep on my shoulder, everything is forgiven, everything is new, everything is a gift. Parents, the eternal suckers. Good to see you!

Sparx said...

Elsie - he is indeed... and so they are, little devils! Betty is certainly a crafty one too by your account! Am dropping by for a catch up now. Good to see you!

ilana (Helen) Pengelly said...

If you think your cheeks are bleeding now -- just wait until he's 13! At every age they do stuff grandparents get to laugh at whilst we parents have to model gravity and sincerity. And trust me it can be a real stretch. Especially if you are me -- and I'm you can can recall why! If you think he can see through your act now be prepared for the xray vision of the teenager. I just love the little trips down memory lane you keep presenting me with!

Elsie Button said...

hey sparx, had to drop by again and tell you that yesterday betty had the 'no' and finger pointing gesture treatment from me because she was smearing her little mits all over the tv - she looked at me, smiled and then pointed back! i cracked up, and then she started laughing too - the start of a slippery slope! But it made me think of this post - it's such a brilliant post! get a book published, seriously! everyone else seems to be...

Sparx said...

Helen - Oh my, so much to look forward to! You must be loving it though, really! Great to see you!

Sparx said...

Elsid - thank you, you're so kind! Maybe I should try it... hmmm... I think your Betty is a really cheeky one though, she sounds a delight! Good to see you!

darth sardonic said...

man, been there done that. i simply can't stay mad after i laugh, so it has, quite simply, saved my kids' asses that they bust out something cute n funny at just the right time.

Jozet at Halushki said...

My little guy like to play the "throw it in the trash" game, too.

Keys, his sister's homework, his food. All gore in the trash. We have to do a sort through before anything gets tossed for good. I am currently missing my ATM card.

Sparx said...

Darth - yes, I know you, you're just a big old softie for your kids! Good to see you, will drop by soon!

Sparx said...

Jozet - oops! I hope you found it! We have to review the trash very carefully these days as well! Good to see you, thanks for dropping in!

Suki said...

My god, the boy is one mischievous devil of a joker!

By the way.. I know you're feeding the Spud all he needs, but your blog feeds are another story. I haven't been getting half your posts on Google Reader :(. Could you please try something to fix it? Using Feedburner or something of the sort?

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