Tuesday, June 14, 2011

tick tock tick tock

The child is in bed; clutching a warm pillow to its tum... With the impending onset of school we are having some, presumably subconcious, regressing of various bits and pieces; which in the case of our son means his relationship to his innards, to which it appears he feels wholely prisoner.

Our boy will do anything to try to trap the renegade product of his own body so it can never force him to sit for those few calamatous moments when something gets away from him.  Perhaps it's a control issue - he says over and over again that he just 'can't keep it in'.  No matter how many times I tell him he shouldn't try, that he should let it out, he just won't agree.  He would rather strut around all day with an uncomfortable and possibly slightly sticky undercarriage than lose his grip on his own body for the smallest moment.

We've had this before and he always overcomes it - he's perfectly capable of managing himself, he just, at the moment, doesn't want to do it.  He also doesn't want to stay at nursery all day or dress himself or do any one of a number of things he's been doing perfectly happily for a while.

I understand, to be honest.  I'm not sure I'm ready for him to go to school either.  I'm not ready to lose our Fridays together, or to have to get up early 5 days a week for the next 12 years to ship him off, or to watch him become jaded and prone to playground economics, vocabulary and manners.

In some way I suspect we both want the world to slow down and let him be a little boy for just a bit longer.  Sadly while I am used to time taking over my life and doing whatever it wants, he's only 4 and is just trying, any way he can, to control his world.  It's just a shame that it's making him feel so dreadful.

8 comments:

Twain12 said...

i hated it when my boys went off to school...they grow up way to fast :)

Lorianne said...

It is difficult sending children off to school and allowing them to develop a life separate from our own. But Charlie will have so much fun making new friends and learning new things. He has more to look forward to than to worry about. If only he knew that. Regression is normal, treasure the tender moments with your son. :)

Sparx said...

Twain12 - so I find... slightly heartbreaking!

Lulu - (am guessing this is Lulu...) I am sooo not looking forward to it... selfishly! 7 of his best mates are going with him so hopefully the change will be easier... just got to deal with the tiny fretting now, I guess.

Lorianne said...

It is Lulu. :) I believe that children are keenly able to sense their parents own fears and anxiety, and react according to their emotional maturity. It's going to be okay Mummy!

Jenna is starting grade 1 next year (gone all day!)
Nolan starts kindergarten in September too. Where did the TIME go? They are both so precious. I am enjoying watching them start to bloom and come into their own. Tender and painful as it can be.

Sparx said...

Luly! yay. I've heard from others stories of their children sitting down and telling them that things will be OK. Charlie is always asking me if I'm OK, I try to be...

Your kids look so great, would be cool to see them all together one day...

Lorianne said...

It would be most awesome for all of us to hook up. You are always welcome in my home babe.xo

Jennie said...

I dread this too. I've actually considered homeschooling to circumvent all this nonsense of getting up at 6:30 and not being able to do what we please at the spur of the moment. At the moment, we get out of bed 30 minutes before school starts. And we're the slow (but lovable!) morning types. Sigh. Must be strong.

Sparx said...

I would definitely consider home-schooling if I wasn't working; it's a lot of effort and kids may miss out on some social elements of school but stats seem to indicate they'll get a better education...