Friday, March 11, 2011

...so you strap what to your feet and go where?

OK, so my attitude to skiing, based on encounters with the smug, orange offspring of the rich during my impoverished and geeky youth, used to be that it is a sport undertaken by awful people.  This attitude changed radically when I realised that actually, some of my favourite people ski; but I never for a second felt the urge to participate.

At the age of 39, however, I married a skier (I'm not actually sure which was more surprising).  Anyway, it became clear that there was a silent clause in our vows in which, apparently, the JP said 'and will you take this man skiing' just before I said the two dangerous words.

I dutifully followed the Frog off to the slopes with somewhat predictable results, ie, I hated it and only went back on extreme suffrance.

I fell down and couldn't get up, like a living, breathing old lady joke.  I shouted.  I threw things.  I fell over again.  I may have cried.  3 ski trips later and I could actually ski successfully, albeit with scant enjoyment.  I became resigned to my fate, I purchased ski boots - then, mercifully, I fell pregnant and have managed to avoid skiing for more years than I could ever have hoped.

However, time has a sort of relentless thing about it and we now have a son big enough to be strapped into skis and thrown down a snowy hill - so, an uncharacteristically cheerful Frog booked a ski weekend recently and that's pretty much what we did to Charlie.  Poor boy.

 

 He fell over and couldn't get up.  He shouted.  He threw things.  He cried so much his sunscreen washed off.  He did, however, actually ski, loved it and is dying to go back.  The Frog says he is clearly my son.  I say, on evidence, he is clearly his Father's boy.

Importantly however, I've discovered that I have become a better skier simply by not skiing.  It's true!  I've not been near a slope for 6 years now and I can actually ski like a proper skiing person.  This is great. 

Perhaps, if I stay off the slopes for another 6 years I may actually become world class... however given I am outnumbered in this house by remorselessly keen ski people, I don't much fancy my chances.

10 comments:

Helen + ilana = Hi said...

See! So me taking up snowboarding accidentally at the ripe old age of (bleep) wasn't so crazy after all!! Well done you! and Charlie, of course....

English Rider said...

The part where "some people" can get back upright after falling down in the snow, without removing their skis, rolling onto their knees and doing a rear-end levade, left me with a lot of negativity in my heart. That and a lack of understanding for that "up the mountain, down the mountain" repetition crap combined with cold temps and looking like the Michelin man's mother, well! I've probably made my point.

Sparx said...

Helen - no, not crazy in the slightest; I may even give snowboarding a go at some point!

English Rider - hahahaha!! You sound like me... it's taken a while mind you but I've worked out the 'standing up' part and suddenly the rest doesn't seem that bad...

Muddling Along said...

Hahahaha I realised on my last skiing trip that I don't like the cold, don't like heights, don't like hearty types.... so its strange that I do sort a teeny bit like skiing

And yes, I found that a few years off have made me a better skier!

Sparx said...

Muddling Along - I know... I think that if you get it on a warm day it's more fun... plus having a kid makes it more fun. I just try not to be overly hearty about the whole thing. I'm not much for hearty myself to be fair...

Elsie Button said...

i am a bit blown away that charlie can use skis - i cannot imagine betty on skis. or maybe i underestimate her. i went skiing once and it's the only time (for about two weeks afterwards) that I had toned thighs.

Elsie Button said...

i still can't get over charlie - a four year old - on skis - i keep watching the clip - amazing!

Sparx said...

Elsie - you wouldn't be so amazed if you'd watched him wiping out... or seen all the OTHER kids his age whipping down the slopes all on their own. Seriously, there are toddlers out there who can ski better than I can... I bet Betty would be aces.

Helen + ilana = Hi said...

Sparx - invest in a good butt pillow for that first day on the snowboard. Go ahead ask me why? Or better yet have peek at the evidence http://pengellypastimes.blogspot.com/2010/01/i-made-it-off-chair-lift.html

Elsie - I spent 3 weeks on the bunny hill trying to hone my snowboarding skills this year. All the while watching people barely as tall as my knees (and Sparx can testify as to just how close to the ground that is!)whipping down the hill with parents in tow yelling "slow down diddums slow down". Kids have a no fear and b almost nowhere to fall!Now I'm on the 'big' hill watching those same kids hit jumps and generally scare the daylights out of their parents! I bet Elsie would surprise you!

Sparx said...

Helen - ok, I'll bear that in mind! And Elsie, Helen is absolutely right... there's nothing more humbling as a learner adult than watching hundreds of toddlers whip down the slopes ahead of you...