Thursday, September 25, 2008

And that's a wrap

OK, so it didn't happen. Six days of patrolling my son's skin for every little blemish, six days of preparing for the worst - six days, incidentally, of on-and-off fever, coughing and snot, six days of showing ALL the signs he was about to launch in to chickenpox and nada. And, in Bad Mother news, I feel totally, completely and utterly cheated.

So. I admit. It's not the greatest thing in the world, hoping for one's darling little bundle to get sick but frankly he has to get chickenpox at some point and it was sort of convenient this week a relief to get some warning. Now that I know it's out there lurking in wait for my little pudding I rather want to get it over with.

The main side-effect of all this waiting around is that every time he complains a little... maybe his Thomas is a few inches too far away, perhaps he's woken up with an itchy toe... anything, basically, that he chooses to complain about after midnight, particularly if he complains for more than 30 seconds, lands him up in our bed with two over-attentive parents feeling his head and holding his hands and paying him loads of attention and all the while not getting any sleep of their own at all.

This morning, I woke up having completely forgotten that I'd carted him into bed at 5am; to see his smug little smiling face nose to nose with mine (alright, it was quite cute. OK, very cute. Dammit let me get on with this). He proceeded to wrap his arm around my head and administer several damp kisses to my cheek (Shut. Up. No, I don't have pictures for crying out loud). His next move was to hightail it over to his Dad, wrap his arms around the frog's sleeping shoulders and say 'Mmmmmm, Dadai!'.

Yeah I know. He has us wrapped.

The upshot of this is that bedtime is now a big struggle as he sits in his cot shouting for us to take him to the proper bed: 'Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai', (we only get 'Daddy' and 'Mummy' when he's in a good mood. The rest of the time we get Eurotrash) 'Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai, Mummai...' you have no idea. He can go on for a Very Long Time. Last night he did it for about an hour. Every five or ten minutes, or however long it took one of us to cave under the onslaught, we would go in and he'd gurgle a bit and look sleepy - but as soon as we left he was back at it like some sort of public announcement machine gone wonky.

The thing is, because we're not as cool as we like to make out, we get worried that perhaps THIS time it's for real... maybe he's done a poo or maybe he's been sick or perhaps the evil pox has come in the night to rampage over his dewy epidermis... you know, the one time you give up because you're convinced he's crying wolf is the one time that the wolf is squatting over him with evil intentions. Or something. Either way we have now had no sleep for about a week and so our judgement is sorely lacking.

Anyway, I forgot that this was supposed to be about the kitchen fire he set this morning. I'm so tired I have actually forgotten the entire thing - the failed fire extinguisher, the flames, the panic, the smoke detectors, the shutting down of the mains and eventual dousing of the guilty toaster with a bucket of water; the frog repainting the entire kitchen. This morning. All that. And I forgot.

Tonight we have agreed no spud in the bed... but then we agreed that last night. And the night before. Oh yeah, we are W. R. A. P. P. E. D.

17 comments:

Michelle said...

Oh Sparx! This has to be one of my favorite posts ever. You are so funny!

ilana (Helen) Pengelly said...

World
Renowned
Anxious
Parents
Patiently
Expecting
Dozing

and getting none

Been there
Done that
Hate the t=shirt

Rose said...

Right there with you. Cutting three molars, trying to stop night nursing...mummmm-mmeeeeee, dadd-daaaaaaaa, Aaaa-Waaaa (that's Ella, like she's ever come to her rescue in the night?!!), repeat.

Lola said...

I had a few ideas about the phrase "maybe his Thomas is a few inches too far away"

But I worked it out in the end. Thomas is a favoured toy, right?

Suki said...

Tired or not, lady, your ability to tickle my funny bone remains undiminished :D

Jonny's Mommy said...

I am laughing so hard! You are hilarious!

And we are W.R.A.P.P.E.D too. Very much so. If we were not, then I wouldn't have stayed up 3 hours in the middle of the night this week, not quite sure if the little guy was pulling my chain or if he might be coming down with one of all the colds going around!

Ugh! Why do they have to be so darn cute and precious and all that crap?!

Sparx said...

Michelle - thanks hon, made my day - must post when tired more often!

Helen - your anagram really made me laugh! Tell me it gets better... please?!

Rose - poor Lauren! teething is the worst. We think the recent troubls have been those last 4 molars which just refuse to come through...

Lola - LOL! My Mum said the same thing - I meant Thomas the Tank Engine... er...

Suki - thanks gal! Hope the studies are still going well.

Johnny's Mommy - they're so cute because if they weren't we'd probably recycle them for half the things they do...

ilana (Helen) Pengelly said...

Ok but I'd have to lie. Late night concerns just get different when your kids are teens..............different but still sleepless! I'm thinking we get to sleep properly when they move out!(1580 & 2694 days respectively)

cactus petunia said...

Holy cow! You know things have gotta be crazy when you forget a little thing like a kitchen fire!

Good luck on the bed thing. Calling your name a gazillion times seems infinitely better and gentler than what we got: loud, pathetic wails trailing off into hiccups and large doses of guilt.

P.S. Don't they have a vaccine for chicken pox now?

DJ Kirkby said...

Hi honey
what a lovely post. Oh and I guess I need to remind you again that the incubation period for chickenpox is 21 days, no point looking for spots yet! From 21 days you can worry and scan his body for spots.

Raz said...

I had chicken pox on holiday in France, so I think if he could get it now that might be best :) I hated my French doctor...

Very, very funny post!

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

My children had their chicken pox back to back. Two weeks with one then the minute it cleared up the other had it.
It was H.A.R.D!

Sparx said...

Helen... OMG I'm sooo dreading that. Part of my just wants to keep him little forever...

Cactus - I know! It's partly because the frog had everything shipshape by lunchtime (we have a VERY small kitchen) so it was easy to overlook. Oh, and we don't get the vaccine over here - the excuse is that it's less effective and more expensive then just letting the kids get it... sigh...

DJ... uh-oh... actually I hadn't forgotten but everyone I speak to whose kids have had it say it presented within 10 days. Guess we shouldn't give up quite yet!

Raz - oh... oh... that sounds awful, I hear it's so much worse the older one gets too, what a rubbish holiday.

Tara - Murphy's law gone very wrong... big sympathis - but at least they won't get it again.

DJ Kirkby said...

Yes def don't let down your guard. Those people may have said ten days because they were not certain of when their child was exposed to the virus? For more info just go look on the Health Protection Agency's webiste. More info on there about infectious diseases then you could ever wish to know!

darth sardonic said...

hilarious! i usually find myself on the other side of the scale. "nah, he aint that sick, he's ok." "he's running a low-grade fever." "really?"

but either way, they offer some laughs.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

I remember refusing to go up to my son's room when he kept crying. Eventually, he quietened and went to sleep. The next day I discovered he'd had a burst eardrum (pus was everywhere). Oh, did I feel bad. Anyway, I've tagged you.

Sparx said...

DJ - Thanks... I think... that's a very scary site. So, I guess we've got a few more days before we know for certain...

Darth - very funny - great to see you out and about!

Wakeupandsmellthecoffee... oh no! Poor you, you must have felt awful... I burst an eardrum when I was little so I'm guessing he's absolutely fine. Thanks for the tag!