Sunday, April 27, 2008

better out than in

My son has trucker butt. Here he is, walking into the room in his fabulous little jeans, bending over to pick up a brick and there, peeking over the top of his darling little denim waistband is… not the top of his stylishly coloured cloth nappies, no, but the top of what I will refer delicately to as 'Grand Tushie Canyon'.

Yes folks, the time has come to upgrade those nappies for a larger size because it doesn’t take much imagination to guess what happens when a runny tummy meets a low-hanging nappy, and a runny tummy is what the spud has at the moment.

Far be it from me to gain amusement from my son’s upset however as it doesn’t seem to be bothering him in the slightest, I feel the need to relate today’s incident.

The spud is a button pusher. A geek in making, he can find the ‘on’ switch on pretty much any electronic item; can load the washing machine, open the soap drawer for me, turn it on and set the cycle; has worked out the touch-screen on my phone and is currently experimenting with using the computer mouse. He is, in other words, overly stimulated by technology. The arrival, therefore, of a new CD player into the livingroom has been the cause of many an excited moment for my little boy – excited moments I may add which are not shared by my Frog who shelled out for the new machine after the old one collapsed under repetitive ‘on button’ strain injury.

The Frog unfortunately has been unable to keep the spud’s fingers off the new sound system and is swiftly growing little grey froggy hairs around his ears where all the steam keeps coming out. The spud for his part is not to be deterred and has already worked out how to turn it on, load up a CD and press play. Today however he decided he was going to move on to try out some different buttons and during a particularly dull moment while he had it on ‘Aux’ (and who TF ever uses ‘Aux’ anyway?) he twiddled the volume knob. All The Way Up.

There he was, on his hands and knees, gleefully stabbing away when he hit the ‘mode’ button again and found himself suddenly faced with a massive wall of AM static noise. The effect on him was, not to put to fine a point on it, electric. It all happened at once for my little spud, he backed up, exploded and shrieked pretty much at the same time, then scrambled to his feet, little hands flapping in panic and we had a very sudden need for the off button, some air freshener and a change of clothes. Both of us, as it turned out, because I made the tactical error of picking him up for a cuddle before I realised just exactly what had happened.

Anyway, luckily he was in one of the new, large-sized nappies because it could have been a lot worse than it was. And they are very styley, even though one of them is now a little the worse for wear.


jenny said...

Oh, the poor Spud! I love your description of what happened when the loud AM static came on! Made me laugh out loud. Maybe this will give the Spud pause before he fiddles around with anymore buttons now?

Missed you and I'm glad to see you back. xoxo

Jen said...

It is a shame us moms don't wear a helmet cam, because getting stuff like that on video would be priceless! You told the story so well, though, I felt like I was there...without the smell.

Ryan & Michelle said...

Oh you are so wonderful with words! Thanks for a good laugh. I imagine the Frog wasn't there to witness the event or more than steam might have come out of his ears!

Jonny's Mommy said...

I love it! Hilarious!

But pooooor Spud!

My little one is always playing with the CD player and just recently Hubby announced that he also wants a new player because of all the wear and tear on the player from little, curious hands.
He has yet to blast himself out, but boy I'm sure it will come soon.

Frog in the Field said...

Poor Spud, you cruel Mother telling us that!! Very funny...very very funny. I can picture it.
Have tagged you, come visit.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha!!! That's happened to Dante too, both the exploding stereo and the exploding tummy, though not at the same time!

Thanks for the visual of steam from froggy ears framed by greying froggy hairs.

Ms Anonymous said...

Oh. My. God. I nearly had a mess of my own to clean up, so hard was I laughing. On another note, one of my lemmings passed wind with a little too much effort today and ah, shall we say, followed through, and I swear to god, no matter how much I sniffed I couldn't pin which one it was so we all just festered in stench for the rest of the day. Can we say eww?

mel miotte said...

Had the same issue with my froglet (fellow NCT-er by the way, to give you a clue). Not only did he manage to blast at full volume something appalling like Britney 'hit me with it one more time', but managed to blow both speakers!

BOSSY said...

Hmmmm. AM static noise. Maybe the next big Parenting Technique?

Stay at home dad said...

We've all got 'truckers' butt' haven't we? No? Er. ok.

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. What a life it was I'm sure.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Fantastic post. I remember those days very well. And I just caught up with the news about your grandmother. So sorry to hear about her death, but how lucky she was to have family around her till her dying day.

Elsie Button said...

Poor spud, but very funny!

I gave you an award a couple of posts back - a well deserved one - 'funny lady' - and you are certainly one of the best story tellers/funniest people on the circuit!

Rob Clack said...

Great post! Reminds me of (one of the reasons) I decided to be too selfish to have kids! If the house is a tip, there's no-one else to blame. If stuff breaks, well who could have done that? I don't have to convert the back yard to a footie field, nor fill in the ponds for fear the little darlings might drown.

It's obvious you're having a fantastic time and wouldn't change much, if anything, but I still don't envy you!

Shubhajit said...

quite interesting...

Shannon said...

I love to visit here and just laugh and laugh! Your spud is the funniest as well as clever and smelly all at the same time. Too much.
I tagged you before I read your comments and saw that you were tagged just a few days ago. Enjoy if you like.

Sparx said...

Hi Jenny - thanks! I've been so busy, will be round to visit everyone soon.

Jen - helmet cam!! I do often wish I had the film camera handy though... Life is funny on a regular basis!

Ryan & Michelle - true enough, although it might have given him a certain frisson of revenge!

Jonny's Mommy - hmmm, perhaps it's a man thing, wanting a new toy just because there are sticky fingerprints on the old one?!

Frog - ooh thanks, will do that now.

Jennie - poor Dante... but lucky you for not having to clean up two messes at once!

Ms. Anonymous - oh goodness, all day? Really? You didn't walk slowly around the room sniffing?!! Poor you!

Mel - Ah, so it's not just me, that's a good thing! Poor little tadpole, he must have really freaked out.

Bossy - you're back! Maybe I could wire myself for sound and just blast him whenever I'm displeased... although I'm sure the neighbours would complain...

SAHD - No dear, just you and the spudlet I think! Thanks for the kind words, nice to see you back.

Wake up - thanks so much. Bet you're glad these days are over?

Elsie - oh, thanks! I've been very bad at visiting people recently, will drop over later!

Rob - you should meet my brother, he thinks exactly the same way! And sometimes I do envy him and his wife their relative freedom but I wouldn't swap.

Shubhajit - thanks, I think!

Hi Shannon - I'll pop over and see what you've tagged me with! I tend not to do tags because there are so many but I may just have a cheat day and do a couple of tags today! Thanks for the kind words!

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