My son has trucker butt. Here he is, walking into the room in his fabulous little jeans, bending over to pick up a brick and there, peeking over the top of his darling little denim waistband is… not the top of his stylishly coloured cloth nappies, no, but the top of what I will refer delicately to as 'Grand Tushie Canyon'.
Yes folks, the time has come to upgrade those nappies for a larger size because it doesn’t take much imagination to guess what happens when a runny tummy meets a low-hanging nappy, and a runny tummy is what the spud has at the moment.
Far be it from me to gain amusement from my son’s upset however as it doesn’t seem to be bothering him in the slightest, I feel the need to relate today’s incident.
The spud is a button pusher. A geek in making, he can find the ‘on’ switch on pretty much any electronic item; can load the washing machine, open the soap drawer for me, turn it on and set the cycle; has worked out the touch-screen on my phone and is currently experimenting with using the computer mouse. He is, in other words, overly stimulated by technology. The arrival, therefore, of a new CD player into the livingroom has been the cause of many an excited moment for my little boy – excited moments I may add which are not shared by my Frog who shelled out for the new machine after the old one collapsed under repetitive ‘on button’ strain injury.
The Frog unfortunately has been unable to keep the spud’s fingers off the new sound system and is swiftly growing little grey froggy hairs around his ears where all the steam keeps coming out. The spud for his part is not to be deterred and has already worked out how to turn it on, load up a CD and press play. Today however he decided he was going to move on to try out some different buttons and during a particularly dull moment while he had it on ‘Aux’ (and who TF ever uses ‘Aux’ anyway?) he twiddled the volume knob. All The Way Up.
There he was, on his hands and knees, gleefully stabbing away when he hit the ‘mode’ button again and found himself suddenly faced with a massive wall of AM static noise. The effect on him was, not to put to fine a point on it, electric. It all happened at once for my little spud, he backed up, exploded and shrieked pretty much at the same time, then scrambled to his feet, little hands flapping in panic and we had a very sudden need for the off button, some air freshener and a change of clothes. Both of us, as it turned out, because I made the tactical error of picking him up for a cuddle before I realised just exactly what had happened.
Anyway, luckily he was in one of the new, large-sized nappies because it could have been a lot worse than it was. And they are very styley, even though one of them is now a little the worse for wear.