Thursday, June 21, 2007

Menagerie a trois

This is my 100th post. Seeing as this blog is 15 months old, that’s not brilliant. Many of the bloggers I follow post every day or nearly every day and I am in a sort of wonder about this. Apart from the fact that some days all I could say would be a cross between ‘Ugh’ and ‘Wha?’, I think, as reflected by the fact that the only things I have to post about are the baby and the cat, that I just don’t have that interesting a life.

So, on that note the arrival of Maya the dog into our delicate household balance seems just as worthy of blurting out as anything new the spud may have done this week, such as, for example, working out how to climb into our bed from the floor using only his head for a safety net.

Maya is a lovely old grey muzzle with incipient arthritis who will attack any cat unfortunate enough to cross her path. It’s likely that she just wants to see what they’re about, unluckily this involves a certain amount of dog jaw / cat neck interaction which we’re keen to avoid. Sammy is a lovely, equally grey cat who is profoundly deaf and who would have to use his sense of smell to trap her sneaking up on him, if he still has one.

To put this in perspective, Sammy is 16 and Maya is older by as much as 2 years. They suffer cumulatively from arthritis, hip displasia, a heart murmur, ear fungus, deafness, incontinence, tumours, skin tags, vomiting and a persistent catnip habit. You would think that a tortoise could stop a fight between them however they are remarkably light on their claws and keen to have one last try for the title.

They've had one minimal confrontation and the ensuing bout of growling, hissing, back arching, leash lunging and tooth-baring mayhem had the Spud straining out of his buggy with much the same sense of glee which sees the frog straining out of his sofa whenever there's an F1 pile-up. Neither of them actually want blood, it's just the thought that counts.

The spud can't tell the difference between himself, the cat, the dog and his parents as yet beyond the fact that I doubt he will dive into Maya's chest and shake his head vigourously between her boobs the way he did to me at 'Sure Start' this morning. As far as he's concerned, we're all 'not spud' and equally open to abuse or adoration. He follows Maya around the flat literally squealing with delight and if he could keep up, he'd follow Sammy around in the same way. This means that should there ever be an actual confrontation involving 8 legs the spud would be right in the middle of it (10 legs then) and much as he can win in a battle between his ever-sharp nails and my bingo-wings, I would worry about his involvement in the war of the zimmer fur.

Thus, Maya and Sammy are being firmly kept apart and managing the feeding, sleeping and toilet arrangements for the three of them is giving the frog and I our own grey hairs.

19 comments:

The Good Woman said...

'war of the zimmer fur' - loved that!

Do the animals feel at all protective of Spud? IF so, he might be just the white flag they need. Although experiementation on this front would be hard to justify...

Lindystar said...

You're as funny as ever. Congrats on the 100th post!!!!

"...Ever sharp nailes..."

*shudder*

Sparx said...

Hello Good Woman - the spud can do anything to either animal without eliciting so much as a miffed look however I doubt his ability to register in either of their minds in the heat of battle...

Lindy - thanks!! If anyone has any suggestions on how to keep baby nails blunt for longer than two days, bring 'em on!

Helen said...

My sympathies on your plight. We've got three aged cats here, along with a baby and a preschooler, and we are also dealing with some of the same issues. I don't have any advice on how to keep baby nails blunt, I'm afraid. My upper torso is a map of scratch marks, punctuated with the occassional bite mark. I'm persosnally thinking of buying a teflon nursing vest. That might help.

jenny said...

I was always AMAZED at how quickly baby nails grew! A mum told me once that she chewed 'em off for the baby instead of using the clippers. Hmm.. I dont think so! I just sit down with the kids and clip their nails every week.

Wish you luck with the dog and the cat.. We ALMOST came home with a puppy and I'm SURE the 5 cats and 4 strays hanging around would have LOVED that!

lady macleod said...

congratulations on 100 posts. well done.
I love that you have the emerging Spud and the geriatric dog and kitty show with you and hubby in the middle you have covered all demographics. That should give you post material for some time to come.

Sparx said...

A teflon nursing vest! Hmm... may be a market for that.

Jenny - I confess to being a closet spud nail-chewer, although my preferred method is a clipper followed by a file...

Lady M - many thanks - your blog is an inspiration, truly. How do you do it?

Sebastian said...

love the blog feel free to come to my blog to at http://newspoliticsandmore.blogspot.com/
I wish my blog was as good as yours feel free to comment on it thou

Orhan Kahn said...

They've had one minimal confrontation and the ensuing bout of growling, hissing, back arching, leash lunging and tooth-baring mayhem..

I like how you wrote this.

DJ Kirkby said...

As ever, too hilarious. You post frequently enough to maintain suspense and it keeps me comming back to read them (even if I don't comment often as I am usualy too busy laughing)

Rob Clack said...

Always a pleasure to read your blog! Congrats on the typically entertaining 100th post!

Lindystar said...

What if you let him play with sandpaper?? You could even pass it off as texture learning.

BOSSY said...

What's your secret: Your posts don't feel a day over ninety-nine!

Sparx said...

Thanks everyone - compliments from great bloggers mean a lot.

Bossy, you found the flaw - I have 99 with their booty out on display and 1 cowering modestly in the closet, forgot I'd hidden it. Naughty post.

Anonymous said...

If I had a cat, or a dog, or a child, I'd leave a comment with three sycophantic words about your post and then 60 about my fluffykins/poochyness/angel, about which you would not care.

However I have none of the above.

Good post. Good on you for managing your share of human, canine and feline sewage.

NerotheGreat said...

You mentioned that there are bloggers who write on a day by day basis implying that their lives are better than yours, that is not how I see it. Bring your cats to life is not boring at all--its acutally quite interesting and would like to see where they will end up.

theremingtonblog.com said...

You should post every day. Your blog is fun to read.

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