Tuesday, January 30, 2007

mythelany

Among the various mythical, magical and apocryphal figures who have visited our abode in the last 12 months (The Boob Fairy, The Stork, Santa Claus...) we have a new arrival: The Tooth Fairy - or rather, whatever evil cousin of hers it is whose duty is to implant teeth in the gums of babies and then force them up through the skin, rather than creating little gum sleeves for teeth that don't require ripping open.

Us humans (I'm assuming we're all human here) have a fair few design faults (Testicles? Kidney stones? Split ends? I digress) and this is a doozy. Two years, say the accursed parenting books, two years it takes for all teeth to come through. Two years while (and I'm going to quote another website here) 'razor blades' push through baby gums.

Evolution favours a gummy baby of course. No Mother is going to spend six months breast-feeding a child who is trying to nibble down his dinner - but why can't teeth slip gently into existence rather than causing all this trouble and drool? Currently Charlie is experimenting with differing ways to ease the pain in his gums and a significant majority of these involve varying parts of my anatomy. To date Charlie has chewed on the following: my boobs, my fingers, my chin, my nose, my arms, my cheek, my hair. Clearly some of these have higher success rates than others (vis a vis the radius of human cheek to the size of a baby's gape) however fear of failure is not one of Charlie's strong points and so he just keeps on trying until something goes into his mouth successfully (not to mention wetly).

I in turn am becoming obsessed with teethers (anything to stop the gumming). Charlie has three or four and I have spent hours online searching for more. Wooden ones, plastic ones, ones with gel inside them, ones filled with water, rubber ones, ones that rattle, ones that freeze, ones with bumps, ones on books... Charlie however is just as happy chewing on the corner of a washcloth although he is always willing to try new things - like the edges of tables, books, my laptop, the telephone and I'm sure if our cat were still alive he'd have had a go on him as well.

The key thing for a teether is that he has to be able to hold onto it and luckily, the Co-ordination Fairy appears to have arrived right on cue so perhaps they're working together on this one. Now all we need is the Poo Fairy to come along and train him and we're away.

Meanwhile, any suggestions are welcome

10 comments:

Arban said...

Lol! "Co-ordination Fairy"...lololololol.......

I have a vague memory of chilled cucumbers working, at least once. You have to scoop out the seeds, because they can cause digestion upset.

Oh, and Calpol ;)

Sparx said...

We'll try anything once! Although anything chilled puts his mouth into 'eject' mode...

BOSSY said...

Bossy suggests a little invention her mother liked to call The Sugar Tit. And no Bossy didn't grow up in a trailer park. A Sugar Tit is this and works every time:

Take a clean cloth rag or diaper and in it wrap a few ice cubes and a sprinkling of sugar. Then wrap those cubes up tight in the rag and secure with a hair tie. Then beat the whole package with a hammer until the ice turns into ice chips. The kid can chomp on the rag, which is icy and soothes the gums and is interesting because it is slightly sugary.

OK, so maybe Bossy did grow up in a trailer park because all of her teeth were coaxed with sugar.

Whatever, it works. Bossy's promise.

Concetta said...

You might want to try that without the sugar. Just a thought. ;o) You can also just freeze the damp wash cloth as is. And then there's always Oil of Clove on the babe's gum. Good luck - and remember, no one can really tell you're wearing earplugs.

Cheers!
- Concetta

Sparx said...

Ooh, Bossy, I like your style! Might try some milk instead of the sugar maybe... although it doesn't quite have the same ring to it...

Concetta, I'm sorry, I can't hear you, you'll have to talk louder ;) Good idea on the oil of cloves too.

Thanks all, keep 'em coming...

Anonymous said...

I found your site via the bloggy awards. I voted for you after i read your most recent post. I love your straight forward-ness. Keep it up!

Sparx said...

Thanks!

BOSSY said...

Sure - try the Sugar Tit without the sugar. Add milk. And maybe a little ice cream.

Tanya said...

Just wanted to say good luck in the bloggy awards thing. I put in a vote for you, based solely on the cool name of your blog (I hadn't read yours or any of the other nominees blogs). Hope you do well. Will now read to see what I've voted for...

Sparx said...

Enjoy, Tanya... the inside of my head is an obscure and obsessive place these days.

Now. The problem with putting ice-cream in the sugar tit is that I would be sucking on it, not Charlie. Maybe I shall revert to the original recipe.