Things are slowing down, which is probably the wrong way around. I feel as though there's not enough time left in my life. Not enough space. Not enough of me left to last - and I'm slowing down, wasting what I have left, watching the days drip by, thing after thing.
All the things that have to be done are so relentlessly unappealing but all the things I want to do seem impossible, every demand on my time is like bamboo under the fingernails. I need to drift and be rudderless for a while but it's impossible, the course is unremittingly set. There's not enough time and there may never again be enough time.
and there's so much more to say.