Sunday, November 15, 2009

Valued...

Just a quickie update on my blog below.

The spud has responded brilliantly to me removing his toys. We had few hysterics and he has consented to do as he was asked and has been given back all his toys, praised, given chocolate and stickers and we'll see what happens next.

This has been really interesting and I hope was a lesson in consequences. I didn't take things away randomly or with anger, I just let him know that it was his choice - he could continue to do a certain thing and I would remove his toys. I let him know which ones would go next, and which ones would go after them. I let him help me take them away, showed him where they were and promised him he could have them all back very easily. We continued to love him and play with him and laugh with him and he doesn't seem to have been at all traumatised or upset by this.

When he did what we needed him to do, we gave him everything back with praise and chocolate and stickers and stamps on his hand and cuddles and he was really proud of himself.

Who knows if he'll keep it up but I hope he is beginning to understand that sometimes life isn't really fair, sometimes there are consequences but whatever has happened, he's really really loved.

Wait and see, I guess.

7 comments:

Jennie said...

Sounds like an a-ok modus operandi to me. The being level-headed thing is key, and good you're on to that. Actually, my mum did that with me, in typical emotionless Danish fashion, and boy was that ever effective. And irritating as hell. And don't you know, I'm trying to do the same thing to my kids!
xxoo

Hot Cross Mum said...

Sounds like a very sensible approach to me. We tried something similar - it worked - sometimes! I think the learning process is a steep one but good for you for making such progress.

Maternal Tales said...

I am loving your tenacity. But if the Spud is anywhere near as tenacious as you, you're both in it for the long haul. I shall await more updates eagerly. BTW - sorry I haven't popped over in a while - I have been crap all round. But am trying to make it up and have scrolled down and read your last two posts as well...Yay!!

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

I used to take notes in my someday-I-might-get-knocked-up - notebook from you on babies, and now I'm starting an I-AM-knocked-up-and-aparently-my-child-will-need-dicipline-and-this-is-REALLY-sounding-like-a-damn-good-thing-to-try - notebook.

*scribbles furiously because one cannot trust the internet to BE there when one needs it and therefore must resort to cave-man writing*

You're so cool Sparx and I get to learn so much stuff by watching you, years later I STILL love your blog :) THANK YOU!

Anonymous said...

It was rather interesting for me to read that blog. Thanks for it. I like such themes and anything connected to them. I definitely want to read a bit more on that blog soon.

More than Just a Mother said...

An excellent strategy and one you seem to be handling really well. Stick to it - consistency is the key.

Sparx said...

Jennie - It's a good strategy... I'd like to be better at being dispassionate but it's difficult...

Hot Cross Mum - thanks - it has worked so I'm going to use it again if needed, I think.

Maternal Tales - thanks for that - but guess what, it's worked! Or at least, it has for 4 days in a row... wait and see still thought.

Gringa - thanks babes, that made my day! Can't wait to read about your life with Daisy, you crack me up all the time, it's going to be great.

Anonymous... hmm

More Than - you're absolutely right... and so far, so good...