Sunday, December 14, 2008

Just DO it!

Suppose you were given a word, or better still, a phrase, that when you uttered it, would cause your will to be done. How often do you think you would use it? Once a month? Once a week? Once a day? Twice? Every five minutes?

Think about your answer for a moment and then let me tell you. You would use it every day. All day. Oh, yes you would. And I know this because I am an expert in the human sciences. Or rather, I am, at least, at the moment, an expert in The Origins of Will. Oh yes I am. I am! I am too! Fight you!!

I know I am right because the spud has recently learned a couple of magic phrases of his own and here he is, displaying his basic human need for control and desire fulfilment by using them at all possible turns: 'Don't Want It' and 'Do It'. So we have 'Don't Want It', 'Want It', 'Me Do It' and 'Mummy Do It', although most frequently we just have 'Don't Want It! Don't Want It!' Yes, our little man is making his needs very clear these days. It's better, I have to say, than the tantrums but he is using these magic words fairly repetitively.

I on the other hand feel a driving need to respond intelligently to each blurt of the magic words, to aid his communication and to treat him like a person however all that ends up happening is that I go through a variation of the following conversation; 'If you don't have it you'll be cold/hungry/tired/dirty'; 'I know you don't want it sweetheart but we all have to have things we don't want sometimes'; 'But you like it!'; 'It'll be nice, I promise'; 'Come on sweetie. Have it for Mummy?'; 'You'll want it as soon as we go outside/you go to bed/we get out of the car'; 'Well you have to have it'; 'Just take it'; 'I don't care that you don't want it, you are having it. NOW!'; 'I KNOW you don't want it.'; 'JUST TAKE THE DAMN THING'; 'OK OK OK, you can go outside without your shoes/stay up until dawn/starve yourself/poo in your socks'.

I'm losing this one, aren't I.

11 comments:

Mom de Plume said...

Wish I was a fly on the wall... he sounds too cute!!! I too have a VERY strong willed child. Her teacher, who is interested in children fulfilling their potential (!), has told me under no circumstances must I squash that will. Bearing in mind that she is at school for just 30 hours and with me for all the rest every week! I am told I have to channel her will so that it becomes determination. The small difficulty I am having with this is... HOW??? Aparently maintaining boundaries and being consistent does this... eventually. And that children need boundaries so that they have something to push against... Yes, it is MUCH easier said than done. *sigh* Good Luck and take strength from the notion that he will go far in life :)

Jennie said...

This one was deemed lost ages ago. It's written in the stars. "Så, GØR det dog" (well, just DO it then) is also a phrase much used in our household by the under 5 crowd. Not a crowd pleaser, but somehow we're never game for the tantrums that materialize if we don't jump to the beat of the drum. Such pushovers.

We are trying to teach him to say "please just DO it". Slowly slowly.

Jonny's Mommy said...

You're losing the battle and so are all of the rest of us parents. Jonathan doesn't say he won't do it, but he does say "no," turn up his nose and turn his head away. It's very entertaining...in a way.

We'll get there....won't we?

Helen + ilana = Hi said...

Yup!

Michelle said...

Oh Sparx! What a challenge it is to be a parent. But I love the spin you put on it by putting it in the context of the "magic phrase". Of course we would all use it! And so that very nicely explains being two. But it doesn't explain how to deal with it :)

Jen said...

For your sake, I hope you are joking about the poo in the socks!

Melissa B. said...

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Sparx said...

Mom de Plume - seriously? I mean, I love the idea of what your nursery is trying to say but... I think I would wilt under the pressure!

Jennie - 'Just DO IT then'?!!! Really? Oh my.... my my my, this is soooo coming our way...

Jonny's Mommy - man, I truly hope so!

Helen - LOL

Michelle - No, and I give up trying to work out how to deal with it... I'll just keep repeating myself I think, same as him! One of us will win, one day. Or maybe not.

Jen - yes, but it could happen at ANY MINUTE!!!

Hi Melissa - nice to meet you! I sure will pop on over, thanks for coming by!

DJ Kirkby said...

Oh lol! You are so going to love the link on my lazy Sunday post tomorrow.

cactus petunia said...

Yep. You're losing this one, but they do come around in the end. Really! And you'll look back on this time as a really sweet period.

Frog in the Field said...

Oh Sparx..wait till you have three!
It's the only thing that explains my insanity, I was perfectly normal and sensible before (apart from my blue hair, obviously)