Monday, April 17, 2006

Boob Shocker Update!!!

Ahhhhh.... like a cup of tea with extra 'oooh', I now have a bra with extra 'aaahh...' A 'braaaaaahhhh' in other words. Two of them in fact.

AND, the nice lady in Fulham (for yes, to her I did tread my way on Saturday) tells me that to dye a cotton bra a nice skin tone so it disappears under a white shirt, one needs tea and salt apparently... so a braaaahh with extra 'oooh'. What a nice lady.

She did however provide another correction to the book of boob mis-demeanours, mis-information and other mis-advice probably provided by men, or women with hopeful little chicken fillets stuffed into their 'B' cups... Advice which states...

...dramatic pause...

...get properly measured, you ask?


Or rather yes... but then (and this is crucial) pay no attention!!!... or at least, just use it as a guide-line.

While this should be obvious to those of us with an extensive bra-drobe containing well-fitted bras in two or three different cup sizes, I have always assumed that the variation in fit was due to me gaining and losing weight on a daily basis rather than the fact that bra manufacturers don't work to standard sizes. I realise this is a tad dim for someone claiming to have boobs and a brain but put it down to... er... um... er... cough cough...

Anyway, all that old-wives guff about measuring around the rib-cage and then around the ladies themselves then taking the difference and calculating pi to work out one's cup size is just that... guff.

Luckily for me, I have a friend with the inside track on bra fittings (she who has passed me on to my Lady of Fulham) who has already informed us of much sounder advice - that in order to fit, apart from the normal stuff about a properly fitted bra not giving one mono-boob (or indeed, quadro-boob) one should not be able to get one's own (or indeed, anyone else's) little hopeful finger between the centre of one's bra (between the girls themselves) and the rib-cage. With the exception of sports bras and some non-underwired support bras which don't hit rib-cage in their journey around the adventurous part of a woman's anatomy, if your bra doesn't touch down, you're in the wrong cup size.

Having said that, however, I was un-prepared for the fact that cup-size is dependent solely on the whims and wishes of the manufacturer. For example, my favourite bra manufacturer Triumph (yes, of the motorbikes), who do wonderfully engineered and sexy bras in large sizes, do in fact tweak (oops!) their sizes to make you think that you are in fact larger than... well, then you are. So, in Triumph land I fit into a 'J' cup at the moment (a triumph indeed) however in Fulham, a humble 'G' will do just fine - and so will an 'F' in a different bra.

This, sadly for me, has been a light-bulb moment indeed, one in which I feel some sort of primeval kinship with all those bra-burners of the 60s. Ladies, those bras were only a symbol of entrapment because They Didn't Fit!!!

The moral of this ramble? Buy the bra, not the cup size.

Aaaaaaaaahhhhh.... ooh!

1 comment:

Suki said...

ummhumm... teen from India scrolling through your blog for the first time at 4 o'clock in the morning :).

This post so certainly strikes a chord! Here, all you get are Bs, Bs and more Bs! For me, the poor li'l big-breasted female, things can get really, really tough. I end up spending five times as much on international lingerie than my friends do on local brands. Get that!

In the end, though... Triumph certainly Triumphs. :D They're the only ones that seem to fit properly!